It’s not unusual for leaders to experience moments of self-doubt—especially under pressure. But sometimes, rather than sitting with that discomfort, it shows up somewhere else.
Take this example.
A leader, stretched by new demands, starts quietly questioning whether they’re performing well enough. Rather than recognising that worry, they find themselves increasingly frustrated with a particular team member. That person seems overly anxious, unprepared—almost incapable. Every small misstep seems to confirm it. Over time, the leader becomes hyper-focused on this one individual’s performance.
The team member, sensing the scrutiny, starts to doubt themselves. They withdraw. They make mistakes they wouldn’t usually make. And the leader, without fully realising it, begins to feel justified in their concerns.
This isn’t just a performance issue or a personality clash. It’s a live example of projective identification.
What is projective identification?
Projective identification is a psychological defence mechanism where unwanted thoughts, feelings, or traits are unconsciously projected onto another person, who may then start to take on or act in line with those projections.
It’s different from projection alone. While projection involves attributing internal feelings to someone else (“They’re anxious, not me”), projective identification subtly shapes the other person’s behaviour. The recipient may internalise what’s being projected—starting to feel or act in ways that reinforce the original belief.
In leadership, this can be especially powerful. A leader who feels uncertain or indecisive might begin to see those traits in someone else. The more they see them, the more they act on them. And the more they act on them, the more the other person starts to embody the role that’s been unconsciously assigned to them.
Why it matters
This dynamic can quietly erode trust, dent confidence, and reshape team culture. It can lead to false narratives about individuals, affect career progression, and drive performance issues that weren’t there to begin with.
At its most intense, it creates a sense of distortion: the person on the receiving end feels they’re becoming someone they’re not, or being treated as someone they don’t recognise.
All of this can happen beneath the surface—well-intentioned leaders creating unintended impact. And that’s what makes it important to understand.
Recognising the signs
Projective identification is unconscious by nature, but there are clues:
- Repeated patterns of frustration or discomfort with a particular individual
- Strong emotional responses to relatively minor events or behaviours
- A sense that someone is becoming the thing you fear or criticise most
- Behaviour changes in others that seem to mirror your private concerns
These patterns might suggest the issue lies not just in the other person—but in how the relationship is being shaped.
How to respond
The goal isn’t to eliminate projection—it’s part of being human. The task is to notice it, understand its effect, and take responsibility for how it plays out.
Here are a few starting points:
1. Slow down and reflect
Create space for self-reflection. Ask: What am I feeling here? Where might this really be coming from?
External coaching or supervision can help make the unconscious, conscious—and allow space for a more grounded response.
2. Check your stories
When you find yourself forming fixed narratives (“They’re unreliable,” “They’re disengaged”), pause. Are these based on fact, or feeling? Could there be something about your own experience that’s being played out here?
3. Get feedback from others
Colleagues and trusted peers can help you spot patterns you can’t see. Sometimes, a light touch question—“Am I being fair here?”—can open up a helpful perspective.
4. Lead with curiosity
When you feel something starting to solidify, ask instead: What’s going on for this person? What might they be reacting to in me? Curiosity softens the need to control or assign blame.
And in teams?
Teams are particularly fertile ground for projective identification. Assumptions multiply. Roles get unconsciously assigned. Patterns form quickly, and stick.
That’s why collective reflection matters. When teams create space to talk openly about how they’re working together—not just what they’re working on—there’s more room to surface assumptions and reset dynamics.
Building this kind of awareness takes time, but it strengthens relationships and performance. It also reduces the risk of well-meaning leaders getting stuck in dynamics that leave everyone feeling misunderstood.
Final thought
Leadership isn’t just about what you do. It’s about how you show up—moment by moment, relationship by relationship.
Understanding mechanisms like projective identification doesn’t make leadership easier. But it does make it more honest. And that honesty creates the conditions for deeper trust, better decisions, and stronger teams.
We work with teams to build trust, clarity and momentum—especially during times of change.
You can read more here.
References
Bion, W. R. (1967). Second Thoughts: Selected Papers on Psycho-Analysis. Heinemann.
Burke, C. S., Sims, D. E., Lazzara, E. H., & Salas, E. (2007). Trust in leadership: A multi-level review and integration.
Day, D. V., & Harrison, M. M. (2007). Leadership development: A review of the literature.
Feldman, M. (1992). The Nature of Projective Identification.
Gabriel, Y. (1999). Organizations in Depth: The Psychoanalysis of Organizations. SAGE.
Klein, M. (1946). Notes on Some Schizoid Mechanisms. In Envy and Gratitude and Other Works 1946–1963. Hogarth.
Maitlis, S., & Ozcelik, H. (2004). Toxic decision processes: A study of emotion and organizational decision making.
Petriglieri, G., & Stein, M. (2012). The Unwanted Self: Projective Identification in Leaders’ Identity Work. INSEAD.
Rosenfeld, H. (1987). Impasse and Interpretation. Routledge.
Schwartz, H. S. (1990). Narcissistic Process and Corporate Decay. NYU Press.
Stein, M. (2007). Toxicity and the Unconscious in Organizational Life.